


I Know Him, That Can't Be

by thunderstormsablaze



Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Cheating, Fluff, I think?, M/M, Medicinal Drug Use, Memory Loss, One-Sided Relationship, Unrequited Love, ish, it makes sense if you read it okay, no one can communicate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 18:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30093264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderstormsablaze/pseuds/thunderstormsablaze
Summary: Everything feels so normal, he feels fine. Whole. Except there's a piece of him gone, vanished into thin air.
Relationships: Matt Jackson/Kenny Omega, Nick Jackson/Kenny Omega
Kudos: 7





	I Know Him, That Can't Be

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "I Know Him" in Hamilton. Also I know like nothing about memory loss or peoples thought processes under pain medication so I'm sorry if things aren't right or are really weird.

The first thing he notices is the beeping and mechanical humming coming from all around him. Next the stench of bleach and other cleaners, hitting him in the face like a truck. Kenny tries to open his eyes, yet they refuse to obey his commands, only getting the impression wherever he is, it's bright. The scratchiness of his sheets, he's not in his apartment in Japan, this isn't his bed. So if he's not home, where is he?

There's a weird fuzzy tingling in all his limbs, he doesn't really know why, it's nothing he's felt before though. And that's strange, he's felt a lot of ways after wrestling matches, sore, weary, pained, but never fuzzy. So what happened, because there must have been something. Kenny thinks back, trying to remember what happened, but the last thing he remembers is losing to Okada at Wrestle Kingdom 11. That wouldn't have made him like this though, he got banged up but nothing too bad, at least he doesn't think so.

Kenny floats in the fuzziness, nothing registering in his brain enough to latch onto it and hold himself in the present, but mercifully, he falls back into unconsciousness after a little while. Hoping when he wakes up again he can open his eyes and get answers. Minutes or maybe hours go by before Kenny feels himself wake, eyes firmly shut while the beeping fills the room. 

A few deep breaths, he forces his eyes open. Immediately he's blinded with bright white light, shutting his eyes as they water, blinking away the tears. Soon he tries to open his eyes again, starting with a small crack to let his eyes adjust. His surroundings slowly come into focus and he looks around, suddenly everything makes sense. He lays in a hospital bed, hooked up to various machines displaying things he doesn't understand.

What the fuck landed him here, Kenny's been to enough hospitals to recognize this as an American one, but the last thing he remembers he was in Japan. How did he get to America from there? He sets about combing through his memories again, hoping to find something that tells him why he's in America but to no avail, everything is Japan. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a red button labeled "call for assistance". Kenny shrugs, forcing his arm to move and press it, hoping they have answers for him. 

A nurse walks into the room, tired but friendly look in her eyes, and she smiles at him when she sees he's awake. "Hey there, I'm Doctor Sara Hicks, it's good to see you're awake. I'm sure you have questions about what happened." She takes his file and looks it over, "if you can talk, feel free to ask me things, as long as you don't mind me poking you a bit."

Kenny nods and opens his mouth, "what happened?" He asks, though it comes out more like "whaapnd". Hopefully she gets the message, though he thinks she should expect that question from him. Just now realizing how scratchy his throat is, he opens and closes his mouth a few times, pointing to the water next to the bed.

A beat of confusion before Sara understands, holding the water to his lips and slowly letting him drink, "you were in a car accident Kenny, a drunk driver sped through a red light as you were crossing the street. Luckily you don't have many major injuries, a broken arm but that wasn't too bad, but you hit your head hard and we can't tell if there was memory loss or not. Or how severe it is if you have it."

Memory loss, Kenny mulls that over in his head for a moment. It would make sense, that's why he can't remember how he got to America in the first place. He nods slowly, glancing down at the cast on his arm. "It… It's 2017… January…" he mumbles, voice clearer this time, less slurred. But from the saddened look on her face, he knows that's not right. 

"Kenny… it's March 2021." His eyes widen, shock coursing through his system, how did he lose over four years of his life? There should've been something, some sign of those four years passing, not just waking up one day with no sign of them anywhere. There's not even a feeling of loss, where those memories should be, nothing has changed. He feels the same as ever, the only thing changing the world around him.

"Your emergency contacts are on their way, Matt and Nick, right? On the phone they said they would be here by tonight." She continues and he nods, not a lot but enough tension leaving him. It's good to know the three of them are still close even after all that time. No matter what happens, has happened, he has them to lean on. They can survive anything, even this.

"I'll let you rest for now, I know you must be exhausted and they can answer any questions better than I can." She sets his board down and leaves the room, leaving Kenny alone to his thoughts. And lack thereof. He still can't believe he lost four years, so much could have happened in that time. Changing promotions, moving, four years down the drain.

At least he's not married. He doesn't have a ring on his finger or anywhere on him, and he would have been told if he had a spouse. It's good he's not married, he doesn't have to watch some strangers heartbreak when he doesn't remember who they are. In all honesty, he can't imagine himself in a relationship, not after Kota. So he should be good there.

That's when the last of Kenny's strength gives out and he falls back into the fuzziness of medication. This is why he hates taking it, he can never think clearly while on strong drugs like the hospital has him on. But he slowly feels himself regaining his strength as he floats, nowhere near where he usually is but enough that he can function on his own. Hopefully. 

A whirlwind of two brothers interrupts Kenny, waking him up and instantly putting a grin on his face. He tries to reach his arms up to hug them but can't, too many things attached to him to really move, inviting both of them to pull him into a hug instead. Tears spring to Kenny's eyes, this is familiar, this is safe, this is home. He's okay because Matt and Nick are there, that's all that matters.

They pull back and Kenny grins, looking at them and relaxing as much as he can with things poking him. "Hey…" he mumbles, clearing his throat to get it clear again, "how are you two? Feels like I got hit by a car…" 

Matt rolls his eyes and most of the tension leaves him after seeing Kenny's alive and maybe not okay, but he will be. "You idiot we were so scared when you didn't show up yesterday, never do that to us, to me again." He demands, glaring weakly at him while fiddling with a ring on his finger. But Kenny doesn't notice the ring, too caught up in trying to follow what he was saying.

"Sorry?" He shrugs and winces, trying not to move his arm too much. "I didn't mean to miss the show yesterday." At least he assumes that's what they mean, "did New Japan find a decent replacement? I didn't want them to scrap the huge tag match because of me…"

Nick gives him a confused stare, not sure what he's talking about. Because Kenny just missed a bunch of production stuff, there wasn't a big tag match, there wasn't even a match. "Kenny, you know there wasn't a match yesterday, right? We had to talk to Tony about the new show we were adding." A bolt of worry goes through him, "what's the last thing you remember?"

"I lost to Okada. Wrestle Kingdom 11, I tried so hard but I just couldn't beat him." A frown, "what do you mean by production meeting? New show?" The machines beep faster, pulse racing as he tries to remember. This isn't his area, he's just a wrestler. Unless they were talking about something BTE, but then why would they call it a production meeting? And who the fuck is Tony?

Their faces fall, and instantly Kenny knows that's not a good thing. And the full force of what happened hits him, he can't remember. It wasn't so bad when no one knew him, when he could pretend like it wasn't four years of his life gone in a flash, but now there are people. People he shouldn't be disappointing by not remembering anything at all. Memories are taken for granted until they're gone, and now he's reeling from the effects.

"We're EVPs of our company," Matt looks at him, eyes full of worry, "you remember that, right? How can you forget the past four years-" he shakes his head, anger coursing through his veins. The sheer waves of it make Kenny recoil as he watches Matt storm out, hurt pooling in his stomach. He doesn't know what he did wrong, he can't control it, he doesn't want to forget everything. 

Nick stares after Matt and sighs quietly, sitting on the bed next to Kenny and running his hand through his hair, the blond leaning into it a little. "I'm sorry about him. He's… taking it rough." 

Kenny nods, glancing up at Nick and offering him a small smile. Then he remembers what Matt said, "wait what- we're EVPs of our own company? What about New Japan? And who's Tony?" A small part of him feels bad, he shouldn't be asking all these things, shouldn't have to ask. But it's for the best he knows before he sees Matt again. 

A sigh before Nick answers, "we started our own company after leaving New Japan, we already ran our own show a few months before in September 2018 but fully formed a company January 2019. Tony is Tony Khan, the owner of it. But you don't need to worry about any of that, you're not going to be working for a while, not until you're healed up and your memories are back. You're getting them back, right?"

"I don't know… I'm sorry Nick. I wish I could tell you, but they haven't talked to me a lot about the extent of my memory loss. Just that I have it. And apparently it's been four years of… nothing." Kenny shrugs helplessly and frowns, shuffling himself closer to Nick. It's not much, but at least it's something familiar in the strange hospital, it gives him a little comfort and that's enough.

The hand in his hair keeps going, letting Kenny doze off, finally in a relaxed floaty place and not a drug one. Distantly he hears the door open and two sets of footprints walk in, but Nick doesn't move or make any otherwise distressed signs so he doesn't worry much about it. Voices distorted by the haze, though he knows it'll be told to him if he needs to know about it later.

Eventually Kenny wakes up, he's not sure how long passed but it must have been a while, Nick sits in a different spot with Matt close by. "So… what's the news?" He asks and Matt looks over before shaking his head and letting Nick talk instead. Nick shoots Matt a glare before sighing quietly, looking back to Kenny. Kenny hates it, he can't decipher the looks, they've always had that secret language but now more than ever he's alienated from it, four years gone by for it to evolve. 

"You're coming home with us for a while, not only from your broken arm but because of your memory loss and trauma, we have to keep an eye on you." Nick explains, "you're being let out in an hour or so and we'll take you home. You'll have to go through some physical therapy after the arm heals but that's it for that, as for the memory the doctors hope it comes back naturally but it could take a while."

Slowly, Kenny nods, taking in what he needs to do. It hurts some that Matt's ignoring him, he doesn't know what he did wrong in those four years to make their relationship so bad. Or how he can even go about fixing it, because he needs to fix it. Correct the mistakes past Kenny made; the only good thing about this is he has a fresh start. He can use memory loss as an excuse to restart relationships and hopefully have a better result.

Hours pass, Nick and Kenny catching up and talking about anything and everything. It's a bit uncomfortable, Matt only chiming in a handful of times, but Kenny pushes on nonetheless. Because he's just bored without anyone else to talk to, and Nick is great to talk to. Really patient with explaining things that happened and Kenny feels himself getting closer and closer to Nick through it. He finds he doesn't mind it, they always had a strong bond and it's just getting better.

And he likes making Nick smile, of course it's hard to ignore the glares from Matt most of the time, the snide comments once in a while, but Kenny manages. Traveling with them made him get stuck between them a few times when they argued, and it's not too different than that. But he does wonder what happened, because there's more tension this time than there was before. Though he knows if he needs that information, they'll tell him, so he's not very worried. 

A while later, a nurse comes in and checks Kenny one last time, making sure his vitals are okay and Matt and Nick know how to take care of him. Kenny replies to her questions, he's still in a bit of pain but it's tolerable, it's close enough to the feeling of just getting out of an intense match and he can handle that. Not long after he changes into some clothes Nick brought for him, they don't fit right since it's not his but he can wear them for now, and he doesn't even get too stuck with his cast. Just needing Nick's help to pull his shirt on through the cast. Matt glaring daggers at them all the while.

It still hurts, those glares sending him six feet under, doesn't Matt know Kenny can't remember what he did? So why can't they just have a fresh start, get rid of past grievances and move on. It can't be that big of a deal if Nick's still talking with him… Kenny knows if it was something bad he wouldn't have them as his emergency contacts or Matt would drag Nick away. So what's Matt's problem?

Soon he forgets about that, too busy with trying to remember everything he's not allowed to do and how to actually take care of himself. This is one of the injuries he hasn't had before so he can't rely on memory, at least he's pretty sure he hasn't had it before. From what he can remember he's never broken a bone. 

Getting in the car, Kenny tries to fall asleep as fast as he can. The tension between the three of them, well more like Matt and him and Nick too much to bear. It's one of the only times he's been glad to be drugged, it lets him drift off and have Nick and Matt the only ones with tension, him completely out of it.

Once they're at what Kenny assumes is their house, he hasn't been there before but they may have moved in the last four years, gets up and goes inside the house. Just looking around at all of it. His attention gets drawn to the pictures adorning the mantle, a bunch from wrestling and Matt and Nick in Japan, but there's quite a few of Kenny and Matt together. At the beach, eating dinner, walking through the mountains. 

Kenny laughs softly, feeling bad that Nick was always stuck with the camera. His stomach growls, tearing him apart from the pictures around and sending him to find Nick who can help him with food. Or at least finding something he can heat up on his own. Unbeknownst to him, the next few pictures were of him and Matt kissing, and one of him on one knee after Full Gear 2020.

Finding Nick writing some sort of email on his phone, Kenny loops his good arm around him, "can you help me get some food? I can't really cook and I'm hungry." He mumbles and reads the email over his shoulder, picking out his name and the word injury before Nick closes it. It makes sense, need to tell people he can't wrestle so they can adjust plans accordingly. 

Nick smiles and nods, squeezing Kenny's good hand before getting up, "yeah, no problem. What do you want to eat? I think we have boxes of mac and cheese somewhere around here if you want one of those." He offers, leading him to the kitchen so Kenny doesn't get lost. 

"Yeah sure, if you don't mind making it for me. I can't really move my arm and that plus boiling water isn't a good idea." Kenny mumbles and looks at Nick with a sheepish gaze, watching him get the mac and cheese started. He feels bad being a burden like this, clearly he was busy, but he can't bring himself to approach Matt yet without knowing what his problem was.

"No problem Kenny," Nick waits for the water to boil and puts in the pasta, setting the timer for it to be done. Then he turns back to Kenny, pulling him into a hug. Instantly Kenny melts into it, wrapping his arms around him in return as best he can. He didn't realize how much he missed human contact outside of being poked by doctors, it's nice being hugged like this.

He rests his head on Nick's shoulder, humming softly and running his good hand over his back. It's different, both their bodies have changed over the last four years, but it doesn't make it any less comforting. From the corner of his eye he sees Matt approach the kitchen, stopping and face falling blank when he sees what's happening. Turning on his heel and walking away. Kenny's not sure why, he and Nick hug sometimes, it's not that big of a deal. 

But eventually the moment is broken when the timer goes off, Nick sighing softly and detangling himself from Kenny to make sure the pasta doesn't get overcooked. Pretty soon Kenny has a bowl full of pasta on the counter while eating it as best he can with only one hand, pestering Nick with more questions about his missing years.

Before too long Kenny takes the next of his medications, yawning afterwards since they make him exhausted. And the craziness of the day drained him. Nick steers him to the guest room, letting him lay down and helping make sure he's comfortable enough and not likely to hurt himself in the position he's in. As Kenny drifts off, he swears he feels a kiss against his forehead, but it could have just been a dream.

At some point in the middle of the night, Kenny wakes up. He's pretty sure it's his body's sleep rhythm being completely thrown off from the past few days, but he doesn't think he'll be able to fall back asleep. So he sighs and gets up, leaving the room quietly to see if Matt or Nick, though preferably Nick, is still awake to pass the boredom with. Or if he can find something else to do.

Voices come from the living room so Kenny goes to investigate, watching the two brothers sitting on the couch facing each other, in what he thinks is some sort of argument. The TV muted behind them, Kenny is about to walk in until he hears his name. Well he can't just ignore that, so he sits down out of sight to listen to what they have to say. It might be nothing, hopefully is nothing, but the curiosity in him needs to know.

"Why would you betray me like that-" That's Matt, Kenny raises an eyebrow and listens closer, this is interesting, "you know I love him and how hard it's been for me seeing him like that." Well now that's more interesting, Matt loves him? Then what was all of this anger and… weirdness?  "It was just a hug Matt, don't get so worked up over it. That's what friends do, comfort each other when they need it. And he must be so confused why you aren't talking to him, just talk to him Matt, at least give him some sort of bond." Nick begs, though it goes in one ear and out the other, Kenny still trying to process what he heard.

Matt… Matt loves him. Did previous Kenny know about that? He can't have, right? Otherwise something in him should have realized. Instinctually, that sort of thing doesn't just go away from memory loss. Doesn't it? He should still know. But then Kenny realizes, he has no idea how memory loss works. So it could be he knew that but doesn't know that now. His fears are only confirmed by the next thing he hears.

"Nick I'm engaged to the man, I've known you all your life, I know how both of you look when you're in love. And in the kitchen, it was written all over you two. I'm engaged to him, have been dating him for almost four years, and you wonder why this is a little upsetting? All our memories together, all the love, just... gone. And now you're trying to piece him together, that should be my job, how could you."

Kenny stares at their shadows in shock. He's engaged and didn't even know it. They didn't think that was somewhat important to know? That should've been more important than talking about their company, hell more important than his injuries. It would've been easy, just throw in a "I'm your fiancé" and everything would be fine. Confusing, but fine. 

Now he can't trust them, what else could they be hiding from him that he can't figure out on his own. Does he have a child too? There's so much they're withholding from him, how could he think all the important things over the last four years could be covered in just over a day. It was foolish to think they have his best interests at heart. And that hurts worse than the car crash.

He must've missed something in the conversation because it's Matt talking again, "I can't just tell him like this, he's just going to run. You know how he was about Kota before we got together, I don't know how he'll feel that he moved on. Let's just stay quiet about it, take down the pictures, I doubt he even noticed them, then when he's healed more I'll tell him. He'll understand, it's for his own good."

Kenny's had enough. He manages to get to his feet, storming into the living room much to the shock of Matt and Nick, "what the fuck guys! Why didn't you tell me about this! You weren't going to tell me about this were you, I trusted you! Son of a bitch." He growls and glares daggers at them, "what's next, I have twin children and Kota's dead? Kota better be alive- if you didn't tell me he died-" he chokes back a sob. 

They stare back at him, deer in headlights under his steely glare, "I'm going to find Nak, he'll tell me what I need to know, unlike you two." He mumbles and shakes his head, going to the door and opening it, not caring where he's going, just knowing he needs to get away. There must be somewhere with a phone, he can call Nak from there. He's a real friend, won't lie to him about important life decisions he made in the past four years.

In his rage, Kenny doesn't look where he's going. The last thing he remembers is the squealing of tires, inferno of pain flooding his nervous system, and then nothing. 


End file.
